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How To Prepare For Marriage

Many brides dream of their wedding day long before they even have any prospects. What will my dress look like? What colors should I use? What kind of venue do I want? With Pinterest at our fingertips many brides may already have their dress picked out before they know who the groom will be. Even though preparing for a wedding is time-consuming, and having some idea of what you want ahead of time is beneficial, it is one day. One special day that marks a lifelong commitment, however the wedding itself, is often only a few hours, while a marriage is what is supposed to last the lifetime. What will you do when the wedding dress is dry cleaned and stashed away in a closet, or when the flowers begin to dry out and wilt? What if as much, if not more, energy that goes into planning for a wedding, went into preparing for the marriage itself? Whether you are single or already have a significant other it is never too late to put effort into planning for a marriage, so that when your wedding day is said and done you will already have a strong foundation built. So let’s discuss ways to be fully prepared:

When you’re still waiting…

As you think of what your wedding day may be like, you may begin wondering when you’ll find your special someone and who he or she might be. The best advise, during this season of life, is to write a list. A list of what you want in a future spouse, categorizing them as negotiables and non-negotiables. Negotiables are things you’d like them to have but can live without. While non-negotiable items are must haves, if you date a person who doesn’t check off a non-negotiable you may see that as a red flag. Be mindful of any red flags as you start looking for a potential mate. And pray!

Pray over that list and for your future spouse, pray like you already know him/her and ask God to draw them near to Him. As you pray for your future spouse, also pray that God would prepare you to be the spouse that “perfect” someone would deserve. If you want someone to love and respect you well, ask God to teach you to do the same. Writing out a list and praying for your future spouse will help lead and guide your heart towards that right person. Time is never wasted, even in the waiting, because it just might be the waiting that is what is preparing yours and your future spouse’s heart to be ready to come together. 

Learn from other married couples…

Often times when you meet a couple that have been together for many years and have reached big milestones, like the 50-year mark, you want to know their secrets to a successful marriage. In a world where divorce is so prevalent it is important to learn from a role model couple. A couple that has been in the trenches and yet came out alright on the other side. A couple that keeps God at the center and loves each other despite one another’s flaws. A couple that remains strong even in the midst of arguments and disagreements. Ask questions to these types of role model couples about marriage and observe how they treat one another. Seek their wisdom to help guide you down the right path of marriage. 

Be quick to forgive…

You may walk away from your wedding thinking it was perfect. However your marriage won’t be. There will be disagreements, your spouse will disappoint you, and you will have to navigate hardship. You will then have to decide how you will respond. Being quick to forgive and not easily offended is key. Don’t hold grudges because it only leads to bitterness and a negative attitude. Instead, learn to see the positive in the situation, grow from mistakes, and choose each other no matter the circumstance. 

Choose Purity…

Society is quick to believe that the best way to prepare for marriage is to “act” like a married couple by doing a trial run, whether that’s living together or having sexual relations. No matter what culture says sexual intimacy binds two people together, that is why God designed it solely for marriage. Every time you give yourself to someone you are giving away a piece of yourself that you can’t get back. Therefore choosing purity will set you up for a wonderful start to your marriage. However, if you’re reading this, thinking, “It’s too late for me,” know that it’s never too late to choose purity. Our God is redeeming and is capable of washing us clean. Choose to walk in purity now, in mind, body and spirit. Keep your mind from thinking lustful thoughts, and flee from temptation. It may seem impossible to live a life of purity from here on out but with God, all things are possible. Practicing purity will ultimately benefit and strengthen your marriage.

Know that you are enough…

It’s easy to fall into the trap of insecurities and to not feel good enough. Although don’t sit in those thoughts. Take those lies from the enemy captive and remind yourself whose you are, a child of God. You are worth being loved. Rely on the promises of God and who He says you are rather than listening and dwelling on untruth. Even though everyone deals with insecurities in one way or another, it’s important to not allow them to consume you. Find security in God, become God-confident, and seek to conquer your fears and insecurities. Begin speaking life over yourself with encouraging and positive words. Remind yourself that you are chosen (1 Thess. 1:4), a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17), forgiven (Eph. 1:7), blessed (Gal 3:9), victorious (Rev. 12:11) and fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Your future spouse is not meant to complete you. You are made whole through Jesus. Become more prepared for marriage by working through the weight of insecurities, and laying them down at the cross.

Don’t wait to prepare yourself. Do it now! Be intentional in becoming the person you’d want to be married to, so that when you are, you are already standing on a firm foundation. 

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