What does your marriage bed look like? Does your spouse try to make advances by slowly rubbing their hands down your body or attempting to passionately kiss you and you find yourself saying more often than not, “Not tonight honey, I’m too tired.” The world tends to send the message that sex outside of marriage is more satisfying; while within marriage it becomes stale and boring. Did you know that God desires the marriage bed to be full of passionate, steamy hot sex between you and your spouse? God designed sex to be a powerful and incredible bonding experience between husband and wife.
Sexual intimacy produces a strong and powerful response in an individual for another person for a reason. It’s a force that was meant to draw a married couple together as one, to deepen the love between the two, and to be fruitful and multiply. Therefore what God creates, Satan tries to distort and that’s exactly what he’s done with sexual intimacy. Most couples enter into a marriage with some kind of baggage, which may include things like pornography, abuse, insecurities, betrayal, or even negativity from the church. What God meant for good can quickly divert to something very negative. While the enemy is very good at creating barriers that can destroy such a precious gift between a husband and wife, our God is in the business of bringing redemption and healing. His desire for you and your marriage is to have a healthy and thriving sex life. There is so much beauty and holiness that comes when you begin to see sexual intimacy in the way God intended. Here is how to honor God with your sexuality:
Seek Sexual Purity
The world tends to send the message that it’s okay if you only look and not touch. However, God’s word completely speaks the opposite, “anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). This truth is for both men and women because with so much technology at our fingertips the easier it is to secretly have eyes on someone else other than your spouse. The enemy would like nothing more than to cause division between you and your spouse. He will use whatever tactic he can from social media, pornography, television, magazines, and books to pull your attention off your spouse. He will also use the different ways men and women respond to sexual intimacy against them. Therefore understanding how your spouse responds, will not only help you be aware of Satan’s tactics but it’ll bring more satisfaction and intimacy between you and your spouse.
Men tend to be more stimulated by the physical aspects of a relationship. Simply the sight of his wife can stimulate the desire for sex while a woman tends to approach sex in a more emotional way. God made men and women so different so that we balance one another out making the sexual experience completely physical, emotional, and spiritual. Even though men can be ready to go by the sight and smell of a woman’s body, a man still needs to feel respected, admired, and physically needed. The woman, on the other hand, takes time to rev up the engine, as she needs the whole person to become stimulated, from touch and attitude to actions and words. Women need an emotional connection that includes understanding, love, and even time.
God made both men and women so unique, however, Satan likes to use these differences to his advantage by stimulating the men’s physical needs else where, while the woman pushes her husband away because her emotional needs aren’t being met. Therefore seeking purity within the marriage bed may mean asking God to help you take your thoughts captive or to help you embrace your sexuality by recognizing your spouse needs that connectedness with you.
Regularly Be Intimate
God understands the power behind sexual intimacy, therefore regularly being intimate can help protect against temptation. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 specifically speaks to these temptations and how to safeguard against them, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, while the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs” (vs.3). He then continues with, “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations…. so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (vs. 5). Even though the word “regularly” is subjective and may vary depending on the couple, the truth still stands that really the only reason a couple should refrain from sex is only for a mutual agreement of a time of devotion to prayer. So whether you and your spouse schedule intimacy or allow it to happen organically and spontaneously, lovemaking should always be high on the priority list.
When God created sex He gave us a gift when He included the pleasure components. Sex is not solely about you, your needs, and what you can gain from it. True pleasure, in all of its riches, really comes more fully when your desire is to bring pleasure and love to your spouse. When both husband and wife are choosing to fulfill one another’s needs rather than their own the mutual pleasure, enjoyment, and joy brings complete satisfaction. It is in moments like these that God is glorified.
Be proactive and intentional with this sweet, God-given gift, and then you and your spouse will reap the wonderful benefits. Now go steam up the bedroom!